How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
