is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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