college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
