You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
