i always forget guys have bellybuttons
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
