porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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