put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Randomize
