I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
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