Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Randomize
