I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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