i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
