Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
