i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize