Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
