My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
