5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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