If i come over, it means nothing
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
