I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
