Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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