ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Randomize
