We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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