i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
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