ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Is it because I queefed?
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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