Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
