How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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