his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
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