there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Randomize
