Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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