i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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