Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
