I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
