After last night, I could never be a politician.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
