So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize
