Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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