Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
