who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
bring money and cleavage
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
