Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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