I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Randomize
