So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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