: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
