toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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