Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
