Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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