I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Randomize
