He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Randomize
