He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
