did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
