i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Randomize
