I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
soo... how was my night?
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