You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Randomize
