I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
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