He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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