addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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