My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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