I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
