Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
As shirtless as possible
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
