Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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