Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
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