he was CRYING into my vagina
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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