this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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