We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize