belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
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