btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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