tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
