There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Randomize
