i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
did you just send me my own nude
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
