we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
