so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Randomize
