I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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