i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
