The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
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