why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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