how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize