return my video game
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
