awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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