Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
