OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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